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I know one of the hardest parts of the college process is figuring out what your role is supposed to be.

You want to make sure your child doesn’t miss something important. You may be the person who sees the deadlines coming, remembers the unfinished task, or knows that the “I’ve got it” you just heard may not mean it is actually handled.

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At the same time, you know this needs to become their process.

That tension starts well before senior year. One of my goals is to help families gradually shift more of the responsibility to the student, while making sure parents aren’t left wondering what is happening or whether something important is falling through the cracks.

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Your Role Matters — But It Changes

 

A ninth grader and a twelfth grader shouldn’t need the same level of parent involvement.

With younger students, parents may still be helping manage schedules, course decisions, activities, and school communication. Part of our work is noticing where a student is ready to take on more themselves—and where they still need support.

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By application season, I want students communicating with me directly, keeping track of their own work, making decisions about their applications, and speaking for themselves.

That doesn’t mean parents are shut out. It means your role gradually shifts from manager to sounding board.

And that is good preparation for college in its own right.

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What You Can Expect From Me

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I work directly with your student, but I also know you need enough information to feel confident that there is a plan.

I’ll bring parents in at key points to talk about course planning, testing, the college list, application strategy, major decisions, and final college choices.

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Between those milestones, I want students to have room to think out loud, change their minds, ask questions, and sometimes make mistakes without feeling as though every conversation is being reported back home.

If I see something that genuinely needs parent attention—a missed deadline, a larger academic concern, or an issue affecting the overall plan—I’m not going to quietly watch it happen.

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The goal is student ownership with an adult safety net, not student independence at all costs.

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You Don’t Have to Be the College Admissions Expert

 

Parents often feel pressure to know what classes their child should take, which activities “count,” whether a test score is good enough, how many colleges are enough, what an essay should sound like, or whether everyone else somehow knows something they don’t. You don’t need to become an admissions counselor.

 

That is part of what you’re hiring me for.

 

I can research the question, keep track of the moving pieces, tell you when something matters—and also tell you when it probably doesn’t. That leaves you more room to be the parent.

 

And sometimes that is one of the biggest benefits of having another adult involved.

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When to Step In — and When to Let Them Try

 

There will be times when I encourage you to hold back a little.

 

If your student needs to email a teacher, contact a college, ask a question, follow up with me, or solve a scheduling problem, I may suggest that they do it themselves even when you could accomplish it faster. There will also be times when I tell you that your involvement would be helpful.

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The goal isn’t to follow a rigid rule about what parents should or shouldn’t do. It’s to keep asking:

"Is this something my kid can reasonably begin handling for themselves"?

 

That answer will change over four years.

 

The Bigger Goal

 

Of course, I want your child to build a thoughtful college list, submit strong applications, and have choices they feel good about. But I also want them to finish this process knowing themselves better and being more capable of handling what comes next.

 

And I want you to get to senior spring feeling that you were part of the process without having to carry the entire process. That’s the balance I’m trying to help families find.

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Ready to talk about what support could look like for your student?
Whether your child is just starting high school or already approaching applications, I’m happy to learn more about where they are and what your family needs.